After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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