I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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