no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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