Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
