Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
