Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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