oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
