i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
