it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
