Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
