Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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