Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
