The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize
