if i died would you start the facebook group?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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