yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
