**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
