I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
