you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
