Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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