dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
