Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
