Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Randomize
