I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
