Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
