You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
