i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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