apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
