I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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