So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize