jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
