what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i came on her dog
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
