he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
