just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
