plz talk dirty to me
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
