He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
