at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
