I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
