Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
