i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
