I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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