i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
