there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
