i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
