I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Randomize
