community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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