Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize