Non-Jews are for practice
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
