This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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