roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
