That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
