I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
His hands were made for my vagina.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
